Paths to belonging in a close relationship context: When striving for general approbation conflicts with mutually caring relationship

This dissertation focuses on the multi-faceted nature of belonging. In Chapter 1, I review evidence that there is more than one way to achieve a sense of belonging. I mention several possibilities and emphasize the importance of studying them in conjunction with one another. I discuss two possible paths, as well as their possible interaction, in detail--the establishment of close, mutually responsive relationships with others (the mutually caring path) and through acquiring the general approbation of others (the general approbation path). In Chapter 2 I present two individual difference scales to measure strivings along the mutually caring path and along the general approbation path, respectively. I present evidence that each one, indeed, relates to the need to belong. I then explore how when people use close relationship partners for general approbation, strivings on the mutually caring and general approbation paths may conflict and (a) interfere with normative emotional reactions felt in response to the success or failure of a close relationship partner (Chapter 3) and (b) produce decision-making ambivalence regarding whether to help a friend (or not) (Chapter 4). In Chapter 5 I change perspectives and explore how being used for general approbation may undermine one's interests but, ultimately, may not influence relationship satisfaction. Throughout the dissertation (and in Chapter 6), I discuss the relationship implications of these processes. In Chapter 6 I also discuss future directions both for the specific lines of empirical work presented here as well as for research on belonging more generally.