| With the rise of the trend of individualism in Chinese society,more and more young people pursue their own lives and pay attention to the quality of life of individuals,and under the guidance of this value,more and more emphasis is placed on the manifestation of self-worth and the realization of personal aspirations.As the "cherished generation" of parents,the father generation has done its best to complete the children’s imagination of a better life in marriage.Buying a house before marriage and splitting up in advance have gradually become the standard matching of marriage.For the offspring,the nuclear family not only avoids the direct conflict with the previous generation,especially between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law,but also meets the expectations of the offspring to "pursue their own life".As for the parents,building a core family for the children fosters the children’s sense of family responsibility and alleviates the pressure of the parents’ continuous support.The parents can also return to their own lives and save money for their own pension to cope with future risks.Under the trend of individualization,this family system arrangement has solved most of the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law,and has gradually widened the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.The appearance of children has led to close cooperation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law,shelving conflicts and forming a "close and distant" relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.This study attempts to answer the following three questions: First,in the process of individualization,how does the "close and distant" relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law behave? Second,what is the practical logic behind the formation of "close and distant" relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Third,how does this "close and distant" mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship affect the future development of mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship? How to maintain such a relationship?Through interviews and participatory observations with the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law group and some husbands in village C,this paper found that life after "dis-embedding" is full of risks and uncertainties,especially after the emergence of children,the anxiety brought by the competition of refined childcare and the family life rhythm that needs to be coordinated all the time make the core family formed by the children unbearable,and the husband,as a "middleman",drifts away from the family.This force the daughter-in-law to urgently need the help of external forces.The physiological advantages of female childcare push the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to the front stage of communication between the offspring and the father,and the mother-in-law thus intervenes in the collaborative childcare between the core family and the daughter-in-law,which breaks through the original space distance and makes it possible to interact with each other continuously.As an extension of self,children have become the main "medium" of communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.In order to consolidate the foundation of the children’s family,strive for the weight of the future pension,and give greater tolerance to the daughter-in-law under the influence of parent-child ethics,the mothers-in-law have built a close relationship through the presence and interaction of heart to heart,and in order to complete the childcare task,they cooperate and rely on each other.At the same time,due to the separation of families,both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have their own families.Even in the event of conflict,the lack of space shelved the conflict,which alleviated the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.However,due to the difference of values and the different pursuit of individual life,the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law still cannot reach the state of "close and distance",and they maintain the state of "close and distance".The "close and distant" mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship in the childcare stage lays the foundation for the healthy development of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship in the future,which is conducive to intergenerational harmony and stability.In order to maintain this relationship,it needs the joint efforts of individuals and the government.First of all,mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law should respect each other’s objective differences,understand each other,assist each other,and jointly shoulder the responsibility of childcare.At the same time,the husband should play the role of intermediary,balance the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law,and give each other more emotional support.Secondly,the government should actively publicize the culture of filial piety,create a social atmosphere of filial piety and love for the elderly,and stimulate the awakening of individual morality.At the same time,actively promote the establishment of rural childcare institutions and provide assistance for childcare.In addition,we should actively develop industries that adapt to local conditions,absorb the employment of daughters-in-law,a young group,inject endogenous force into rural revitalization,and solve the worries of daughters-in-law. |
