| In this single, autobiographical case study, the constricting forces of early motherhood on an educated women are examined. The methodology used is reflective/phenomenological which places emphasis on the actual lived experiences of the subject. This thesis explores how a high achieving women entering motherhood faced not only cultural promises of veneration through self-sacrifice, but also a prevailing ideology of attachment parenting, which encourages total mothering, a complete devotion to one's child, and a more thorough self-abnegation, the combination of which often results in depression. The centerpiece of the thesis is a model detailing choices new mothers make which in succession, lead to an increased state of depression. The model reflects the input of other mothers with whom I share a demographic likeness. The "narrow pass," borrowed from the myth of Scylla and Charybdis, provides the symbolic framework of these challenges and choices faced in early motherhood. The main themes of existential-integrative therapy are briefly introduced as tools to navigate the narrow pass of motherhood without losing oneself. |
