Realize The Real Life Towards Death:The Illness Narrative And Meaning Of The Patients With End-stage Renal Disease

End-stage renal disease(ESRD)is a worldwide public health problem that affects human health.With the characteristics of irreversibility,lifetime,long course of disease,high disability rate and high mortality,it is a kind of chronic diseases and can seriously endanger the physical and mental health of patients.In fact,the long process of disease treatment and adaptation is also the process of patients constantly fighting with the disease,which is full of patients' unique and realistic pain experience.This paper focuses on the patients' illness experience and explores what kind of illness they are experiencing,what changes these illness bring to their daily life world,what kind of views and understandings they have on these changes,and what meanings they give to these illness experience.To be specific,this study takes Professor Arthur Kleinman's "Meaning of illness" as the theoretical support and attempts to use qualitative research methods,such as field research and interviews,to delve into the daily life of ESRD patients,listen to their complaints and explore their experience of illness.The first part starts with the patient's body state shaking like a ferry,and interprets the changes of the illness meaning system by the time-line logic of the gradual loss of control,regain of control and the loss of the body state again.In the second part,the author explores its intricate and tangled healing ideas by describing the experience,the attribution and the metaphor of illness,and establishes its unique personal suffering experience.The third part focuses on analyzing the fragmented daily life world of ESRD patients,which destroys their original life world and causes confusion about their self-identity.In order to adapt to the new pace of life,they have to manage their own lifestyle.The fourth part explores the ultimate meaning they give to illness through understanding of life,death and health,searching for the value of life and moving ahead with gratitude,which is to live in the present moment,look into the future and realize the real life towards death.In this study,the meaning of illness of 14 patients was obtained.The study found that the process of patients' adaptation to illness was the process that they gave meaning to illness.In spite of the great troubles and changes brought by diseases and pains to their physical,mental and daily life,they had more and deeper thoughts about life in face of serious diseases and death threats.