Love And Family Conflict

People in love often ask: when your mother and I fall into the river, who you will save?Conflict between romantic love and kinship has been constantly put on the stage in actual life.Mate selection is an important step of marriage, and including parents’ will. Love acceptedor not, which will influence the quality of the relationship. The research about conflicts betweenromantic love and kinship has be famous for Romeo and Juliet effect. Research in this area hasachieved some results in literary and sociologists, but is rare in psychology.The study randomly collected80stories about conflict between romantic love and kinshipthrough the internet, using qualitative research method, implored the phenomenon of conflictbetween romantic love and kinship in China against Chinese traditional culture of harmony andfilial piety as background, including conflict reason, conflict-solving strategy and the influenceon the love relationship. Selection standards were:(1) The stories were collected through allkinds of websites, BBS, blogs and so on, and the stories must be told in the first person;(2) Thewhole stories must be including the leading character of clear gender, the beginning, middle andend;(3) The stories were contributed from June2005to June2011.Through the analysis of the texts, the results showed that:(1)There are conflicts in criteria for mate between parents and children, which is animportant cause of conflict between romantic love and kinship;(2)The main causes that parents oppose their offspring’ lover include: social and economicconditions, physiological conditions, personality, social culture, region, ideal candidate, familystatus, love and the ratio of the social and economic conditions is highest;(3)Children regard love, personality, physiological conditions and the material conditionsas important in choosing lovers,and the ratio of the first two is higher;(4)Being confronted with the conflict dilemma, young people take resolution strategiesincluding communication, avoidance, resistance, compromise, circuitry, depression, catharsis,seeking for help and helplessness, and the ratio of communication is highest;(5) Intervention has duality influence on romantic love relationship.