'Ah ma, ngoh nm haih jik gah.' ['Mom, I am not straight.']: Reconciling and integrating queer and ethnic identities among queer first generation immigrant Chinese Americans

This interpretive phenomenological research examined the factors that contribute to the integration of sexual identity and ethnic identity among lesbian/gay/bisexual/queer (LGBQ) first generation immigrant Chinese Americans. Semi-structured interviews were conducted with eight adult participants in the San Francisco Bay Area to explore their experiences being Chinese immigrants and being queer. Participants were also asked to provide recommendations for clinicians working with individuals who have demographic backgrounds similar to themselves.;The data was analyzed for salient themes across interviews, ultimately yielding thirteen salient themes and one sub-theme related to the literature review and three thematic ideas providing insights about the clinical implications of working with first generation LGBQ Chinese-Americans. The findings from this study indicated that participants experience stress as immigrants, as Chinese/Chinese-Americans, and as lesbian/gay/bisexual/queer individuals within their families due to conflicting ethnocultural values and in the dominant homophobic culture of the United States. They cope by utilizing social support and community resources that validate their identities and by maintaining a positive and accepting attitude of their multiple identities that are occasionally in conflict. Recommendations for clinicians serving this population include developing a strong knowledge base of the cultural issues that this population grapples with in the context of their concurrent ethnic and queer identity development, utilization of interventions to increase identity exploration and acceptance, and providing referrals for social support and community resources.;This study aimed to bridge some of the gap in the psychological literature and discourse on multiple cultural identities, particularly sexual orientation and racial/ethnic identity for Chinese-Americans. However, the findings from this study do not aim to generalize across LGBQ Chinese immigrants in the U.S. as a whole population; the data serves to provide a deeper understanding of some of the issues that were present for many of the participants in this study. Clinicians are encouraged to explore and value the individual and unique experiences of clients who may be first generation immigrant Chinese who identify as lesbian/gay/bisexual/queer and present with the conflicts around these multiple identities.;¹Cantonese Romanization for "Mom, I am not straight." ²The word "queer" is used as an inclusive term for individuals who identify with a sexual identity that is not limited to heterosexual, as better articulated by Chan (1995): "In the context of identity politics, a lesbian and gay identity developed into a form of resistance against conformity and restriction. The trend toward queer theory and culture takes this resistance one step further by refusing to fit into the fixed categories of heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual and creating a greater flexibility in sexual politics and naming sexual identity" (Chan, 1995, p. 93). Also, the "overarching mission [of queer theory] has been to disrupt the binary endings at the core of our language and culture, and to dismantle the dualisms of heterosexual/homosexual and man/woman in particular" (Humphrey, 1999, p. 227).