| In New York in the 1970s, during the heyday of legalized kiddie porn, a professional pedophile procured his next victim: me. In this autoethnography, I recount my victimization as a child sex slave---a 7 year journey in which I was subjected to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse at the hands of a man who purported to be my stepfather. I endured sadomasochistic sex slave training, including bondage, humiliation, and torture, and was coerced into a pedophilic sex ring. Through this ring, I was sold into child pornography and prostitution. As a result of the abuse, I developed Dissociative Identity Disorder, PTSD, depression, and suicidality.;In this dissertation, I combine my personal story with media accounts of other children who have been similarly traumatized, including Elizabeth Smart, Shawn Hornbeck, and Jaycee Dugard. Based on these personal stories, as well as published research on the study of trauma, I explore the ways in which children typically cope with trauma, paying special attention to phenomena such as Stockholm Syndrome and brainwashing. From the inside out, I describe how trauma affects children. I explain why children succumb to abuse, why they rarely disclose, and why they rarely attempt to flee. I also look at the long-term effects of childhood trauma, paying special attention to how it can alter the developing personality.;Through my personal story, the reader is able to experience the horrifying culture of child sexual exploitation circa 1977--1985. I describe many of the players in this culture, including pedophiles, hebephiles, abused children, and organized criminals. I offer a thick, detailed description of this culture, as it was personally experienced by me. I also provide an historical context for my personal story, as child pornography and child sex rings made frequent headlines in the 1970s and 80s, when the events of this story took place. |
