Expectations of intimacy: A longitudinal study of the associations between expected, achieved and ideal relationship intimacy, attachment, marital satisfaction and well-being among engaged and married couples

Relationship intimacy is central to our understanding of marital well-being (Kelley & Burgoon, 1991; Robinson & Blanton, 1993), yet no known studies exist assessing expectations of intimacy as couples prepare for marriage. The current longitudinal study was designed to assess the role of intimacy expectations, psychological well-being, attachment style and marital satisfaction as couples transition from engagement to the early marital years. Findings indicate gender differences in reports of perceived and expected intimacy among engaged couples. Several years into marriage, however, gender differences in reports of intimacy were not revealed. As expected, relationship intimacy was negatively related to depression, and positively related to marital satisfaction. Depression levels were higher, and marital satisfaction scores were lower when the discrepancy between expected intimacy at the time of engagement and achieved intimacy during the early marital years was greater. Adult attachment style proved to be the best predictor of achieved intimacy in marriage.