| This autoethnographic story is about a female detective sergeant assigned to a child abuse investigations unit who confronts her issues of gender, relationship, and self as she struggles with her identity through her past sexual abuse as a child. Her choice to work in a male dominated profession despite her struggle with gender, and the conflicts she endures as a result of inadvertently facing her past victimization through the eyes of the victims she serves, catches her in a co-dependent struggle for autonomy.;She becomes the victim's champion and then becomes a victim herself by perpetuating a life unfulfilled, an investigation unresolved, and a yearning for love which has eluded her both personally and socially. She lives in her own self imposed prison...alone. She struggles to survive as she voyeuristically sees the victimization of others as a window to her past sexual abuse.;One day, while conducting a routine child abuse investigation she meets a little girl who is also a victim of sexual abuse. She befriends the little girl who helps her face her fears and crippling denial of who she is and what her purpose in life may be. Like a pebble tossed into a pond, a chain of events is set in motion. The story unfolds as she investigates the little girl's sexual abuse case and chases after the ever elusive child molester. In the end she finds out more than she ever anticipated or expected. |
