The Psychological Mechanism Of Vague Request In Romantic Relationships And Its Influence On Relationship Development

One of the important indicators to define and measure information production behavior in interpersonal interaction is information explicitness.In romantic relationships,highly explicit date request messages such as “Go out with me tomorrow.”,or “Would you like to go to the movies with me tomorrow?”;Low-explicitness date request messages such as “That new movie looks good.”,or“Are you coming to school tomorrow?”.In this study,the vague and ambiguous request behavior between romantic partners is characterized by low explicitness of information.Clearly,from the perspective of information production,this kind of low-explicitness request is not conducive to information exchange,but why do romantic partners not just speak up,instead of making vague requests in a roundabout way? This is the focus of this study.Existing theories offer explanations in a number of ways,Politeness Theory,Predicted Outcome Value Theory,Uncertainty Management Theory and so on.According to the politeness theory,many verbal information of individuals will threaten individual’s face.For example,when an individual makes a date request,he or she will risk great damage to his or her self-image,and the request proposer may embarrass himself or be rejected.Therefore,from the perspective of politeness theory,reducing the specificity of request can effectively avoid face threat and negative impact on oneself or relationship;The predictive outcome value theory holds that the way individuals seek information in communication is greatly affected by the expectation of the outcome.Therefore,reducing the specificity of a request can be interpreted as a defensive measure after an individual anticipates a negative result.Uncertainty management theory holds that when individuals think they will get disappointing information,they would rather choose to maintain the current state,and only when they think they will get favorable information will they choose direct information seeking strategy.However,these theoretical explanations do not explain the vague requests that are common in romantic relationships.From the current interpretation,scholars generally believe that this indirect expression and information seeking mode serves as a self-protection and defense mechanism to prevent individuals from saying something that might embarrass them or even destroy the relationship.However,if it only has a protective and defensive role,the relationship development will not be promoted in this process.So why is it still so common? How does it affect the development of romantic relationships? Moreover,in romantic relationships,not only are vague requests often observed,they are also commonly accompanied by judgments and interpretations that go beyond the nature of the event.Requesters tend to make conclusive judgments about their partner or the relationship after receiving feedback,such as “You have not managed to do it,it means you don’t love me.” or “You came to keep me company,you must love me.”,which is not well explained by theoretical explanations.In light of this,the study hypothesizes that this particular pattern of behavior in romantic relationships may not be entirely a defensive measure,but rather a positive“checking mechanism”,in which this request behavior is used to check the quality of the current relationship and to adjust expectations and commitments for the relationship.Based on the existing theories and the above conjectures,this paper proposes the hypothesis that the low specificity request behavior is the result of the combined action of relationship uncertainty,relationship asset evaluation objectives and inference rationality,and that the low specificity request behavior is issued by individuals in the uncertain state to reduce their own uncertainty.Specifically,in a romantic relationship,when the individual’s level of uncertainty is high(e.g.,“I don’t know how much he or she loves me”),in order to update his or her knowledge about the other person and the relationship(e.g.,“I want to test how much he or she loves me”),The individual will judge and evaluate the relationship based on the other person’s reaction and attitude in the appropriate context(e.g.,“I will give him a hint and see how he will respond to me”)to manage his uncertainty and decide whether and how to maintain and develop the relationship(e.g.,“He did it,he loves me.”).In order to prove the above conjecture,this study conducted three studies on heterosexual college students in romantic relationships,combining both qualitative and quantitative research methods in order to explore the possible psychological mechanism behind the common and specific behavior of ambiguous requests in romantic relationships and its impact on relationship development.The first aim of this study was to examine whether vague requests are common in romantic relationships and to explore what might be influencing them.Questionnaire method was used to compare the request making behavior between romantic partners and the request making behavior between opposite-sex friends with 162 college students in romantic relationships.The results showed that vague request behavior was common in romantic relationships,and the frequency was significantly higher than that between opposite-sex friends.In addition,study 1 found that this behavior may be related to relationship uncertainty and relationship asset appraisal goals.Study 2 was designed to explore the psychological mechanisms behind vague requests,involving 315 college students who were in romantic relationships.In the study,participants were asked to perform a situational imagination task in the laboratory,in which they left a request message for their partner in a given situation,and then the subject rated its clarity.At the same time,participants’ uncertainty,relationship asset evaluation objectives,and inferential rationality were measured.The results confirmed a moderated mediation model between relationship uncertainty and requested information clarity.Specifically,individuals with higher levels of hesitation and doubt about their partners have higher relationship asset appraisal goals,which in turn lead to individuals making less explicit requests.At the same time,inferential rationality plays a moderating role in the second half of the mediation effect,that is,compared with events judged by individuals to be of low inferential rationality,in the situation judged by individuals to be of higher rationality,the effect of negative prediction requirement of relational asset evaluation goals is more significant.The purpose of study 3 is to further explore and examine the psychological mechanism of this behavior in daily life and its influence on the development of romantic relationships at the individual level.This is a qualitative study.21 college students who were in romantic relationships were interviewed.The results confirm that vague request behavior is common in romantic relationships and is influenced by several factors(including levels of responsiveness in addition to the variables targeted in this study);In addition,it is found that although such behavior consumes the patience and affection of both parties,sometimes it has a negative hindering effect on the development of relationship,but at the same time,it also has a non-negligible promoting effect on the development of relationship as one of the ways for both parties to explore each other to enhance understanding and intimacy.In conclusion,this study combined quantitative and qualitative research methods to confirm the prevalence of vague requests in romantic relationships,and conducted a preliminary exploration of its psychological mechanism and its role in the development of romantic relationships.The study found that vague request behavior is caused by the individual’s uncertainty about the partner,causing the goal of relationship assets evaluation,and actively evaluating the partner(and relationship)when the individual thinks the inference is reasonable.The behavior is not only a “defense mechanism”.But in some cases,it helps both partners to deepen their understanding and affection for each other through mutual testing and hinting,reducing uncertainty,helping to build intimacy between romantic partners,and promoting relationship development.This study has certain theoretical significance and practical guidance for understanding the interaction and promoting and maintaining intimate relationship.