Father and son mindfulness: The psychodynamics of loving attention

This dissertation examines mindful fathering, a process in which a father assumes a relational identity that allows him to be both experient and observer, neither absorbed nor withdrawn, yet present for and related to events with his son as they unfold in a natural way. Drawing on the teachings of Theravāda Buddhism, the practice of Insight Meditation, and the traditions of depth and archetypal psychology, this research employs a hermeneutic methodology to explore relevant literature, the author's fathering journal, and other fathers' reports of fathering, in order to establish a foundation for the theoretical study of mindful fathering.;When the mindful father cultivates an awareness of the dialectic nature of fathering as a moment-to-moment unfolding of relational identity, he enters a process of participatory communication with his son. Focused attention by the father, both intrapsychic and within the father-son relationship, has perceptual consequences that can greatly expand the fathers capacity to stay present and related. Through these consequences, such as compassion, empathy, interest and mindful participation, a process of loving attention unfolds that deepens the father's involvement encourages his presence and connection yet allows for his absence and disconnection.;When a mindful father interacts with his son he enters the child's world. Physical presence alone, however, does not suggest the complex psychological, emotional, behavioral, and relational posturing that is involved in truly being with his son. For a father to be with his son and make the connections that are indicative of mindful fathering, the father must surrender all notion of existing as a separate self and allow for any suffering this entails. A mindful father maintains an awareness of the son, a child-centered awareness, while suspending and mediating intrusions, such as conflicting thoughts, desires, and personal needs as well as competing demands for his time and attention.;Through the father's mindful relationship with his son, self is revealed in the context of involvement with the other. This relational positioning is sustained without diminishment of either self or other. While fostering the father's and son's separate realities and nourishing their joint interactions, this position of equanimity allows a father to stay present and related. In turn, this dual positioning encourages a transformational potential within the father, the son, and their relationship. It is through these moment-to-moment relational dynamics that a man's fatherhood is revealed to him.