| This, in spiritual autobiographical form, is a feminist, heuristic, transpersonal study of my encounter with the energies of the dark goddess, within and without. In the context of psycho-spiritual transformation, the groundwork of my life will be laid out—the groundwork that made such a transformation possible. However, the focus of the journey will be my transformational process at the California Institute of Integral Studies. Altered states—including holotropic breathwork, dreams and meditations will be informing the process, as will life events, people and guide (books) encountered along the way. Areas of study I have chosen to highlight the journey include altered state consciousness research, the symbolism of the dark goddess for western feminists, and research on the Hindu Goddess Kali. What is sought is integration. What is sought is understanding. What is sought is further clarity about why this goddess has appeared to me “out of the dark.”; As Clark Moustakas has done in his autobiographical study, I wish to do an internal search through which one discovers the nature and meaning of experience. Along with the feminist methodology of reclaiming women's story and experience—studying women completely—I wish to study myself, to follow the invitation of whatever presents itself in my consciousness as perception, sense, intuition or knowledge. I wish to attune to all facets of my experience of meeting Kali—allowing comprehension and compassion to mingle—recognizing the unity of intellect, emotion and spirit. I will follow Moustakas' stages of engagement in the process, and work with the organic inquiry practice of sacralizing all stages of research. As in the many transpersonal approaches, I will utilize direct knowing, breathwork, dream work, and meditation to illuminate my research. I will chart my altered state encounters as I seek to answer the question “What more can be known about why the Hindu Goddess Kali has appeared to me, a western feminist?” Join me if you will in this transpersonal, heuristic, feminist encounter…. |
