| In this dissertation, I explore the ways in which stories of self are created and maintained among Taekwondo practitioners. Specifically, I mark out a number of cultural, historical, and psychological accounts of the self. These "facts" about selves and the sport of Taekwondo provide the basic storylines that Taekwondo practitioners take on and reproduce through their personal narratives. Through the use of a feminist poststructuralist positioning, I explore the creation of these narratives, or "self-stories," of Taekwondo practitioners. My epistemological, theoretical, and methodological positioning is a unique contribution to the field of sport psychology, which has historically underused critical theory (Gill, D. 2001. Feminist sport psychology: A guide for our journey. The Sport Psychologist, 15, 363-372.), and privileged positivist ways of knowing (Culver, D. M., Gilbert, W. D. & Trudel, P. 2003. A decade of qualitative research in sport psychology journals: 1990-1999. The Sport Psychologist, 17, 1-15). I used a narrative analytic method to (re)present the stories of three Taekwondo practitioners about experiences as physical, moral, and psychological selves. The stories told recreate already established narratives of "self"-control, autonomy and empowerment. The first narrative centered around issues of embodiment. In this story, a young woman told of her struggles to maintain a self that is acceptably "feminine" while still appreciating her strong and athletic qualities. In the second narrative, a man strove to maintain control of his body and used Taekwondo as a means to do so. Finally, in the third narrative, a woman explored the complexities of sacrificing part of her agency by joining a group where conformity is prized in order to gain more autonomy. Taken together, these stories are part of a complex community where issues of control, self-control, strength, and traditional values interact in complicated ways. In my concluding remarks, I survey ways in which the complicated ways self-stories can lend themselves to the construction of a community of practice in which differences are tolerated and similarities appreciated. Flexible, changeable selves make up a group that is flexible and changeable as well. It is this adaptable nature that allows for tolerance. |
