Women's narratives of same-sex sexual experiences, fluidity, and identity

Women experiencing same-sex sexual desires navigate conflicting narratives about both women's and same-sex sexuality. Recent changes in the cultural climate including greater acceptance of queer sexualities, increased visibility of same-sex sexuality in media, and availability of narratives about women's sexual fluidity impact the process of personal narrative construction and sexual identity development for queer women today. However, dominant narratives of patriarchy and homophobia continue to create barriers to women enacting their authentic desire.;The purpose of this study was to explore in the context of contemporary sociohistorical circumstances women's narratives about the first same-sex sexual experience that made them think their attraction to other women might be an important part of their sexuality. Ten women living in the San Francisco Bay Area provided narratives of their first important same-sex sexual experience and responded to follow-up questions. Thematic and narrative coding and analyses were used to identify themes and patterns within and across the personal narratives.;Themes included events and circumstances distally and proximally preceding the narrative climax, such as being raised in homophobic families, moving to liberal environments, reconciling homophobia and heteronormativity, and exploring their same-sex desires with friends and potential partners. Additional themes described the narrative climax and sequelae, including who initiated the sexual contact, how the participant felt, comparing their sexual experiences with male and female partners, what occurred in the relationship after the sexual experience, managing homophobic reactions from others, and consequences for identity development. Participants discussed and illustrated their engagements with master narratives about women's sexuality through their own personal narratives. They referred to the following master narratives: 1) about butchness; 2) it's just a phase; 3) women don't count; 4) you need to try it before you can identify. Three common storylines emerged across the 10 participants' narratives. They pertained primarily to reconciling homophobic, heterosexist, and heteronormative socialization with their current circumstances.;The results illustrate the complexity of narratives about women's sexuality and the ways in which women navigate conflicting narratives. Results also illustrate the impact of sociohistorical context on sexual identity development. With continued homophobia but increasing acceptance, some women still share narratives about overt homophobia while others feel more accepted but are surprised when influenced by the complicated impact of subtle heteronormative pressures and internalized homophobia.