The Role of Reform Judaism in the Lesbian Coming Out and Identity Development Process

Acknowledging one's lesbian identity is a process that may bring tension, confusion and uncertainty. Much of the literature examining the coming out process has focused on the stress and discrimination associated with claiming and maintaining a lesbian identity. One source of stress can come from religion and religious organizations. Although there is this traditional tension between religion and homosexual identity development, in this study I explored the possibility that there are aspects of Reform Judaism that would be facilitative factors in the lesbian coming out and identity development process. Seven women who self identified as lesbian and as members of the Reform Jewish Community were interviewed about their coming out experiences and their involvement in Reform Judaism. Qualitative analysis of the interviews identified four main themes. These included Finding acceptance and a Feeling of Belonging in a particular Reform Jewish synagogue, fulfilling a Desire to be United, for Connection, Family, and a Sense of Kinship through belonging to a synagogue with a partner and children, being attracted to Reform Judaism in a Search for Spiritual Fulfillment and Religious Flexibility, and finding strength and affirmation in their Identification with Jewish Culture, Heritage and Tradition. These aspects of participation in Reform Judaism were facilitative of coming out, however some women also described negative experiences in coming out and Reform Judaism. A pattern emerged suggesting a relationship between the stage in the coming out process the women were in and their experiences of Reform Judaism. The women's expectations and engagement with Reform Judaism was influenced by the developmental tasks and needs characteristic of the stage of coming out they were in.